So you picked up the paper with your right hand?

Since I know that America's Senator won't wade into this whole Senator Craig thing, and as someone who enjoys the company of my gay friends, I will be a little contrarian and weigh in on the side of discredited soon-to-be-former-future-gay-Senator Larry Craig from Idaho. Wherever that is.

For a week now I've been waiting on the scurrilous details. I couldn't breath before I heard the tale of the "reach across the aisle." The "flush heard round the world." I can't think of any more or dirtier metaphors.

Anyway, I heard the tape today. Dirty cop. When did being gay become illegal? I mean, assuming he is gay. Nudge. Play back the tape. All they have him on is waiting for a stall to open up, tapping his foot as he does his business, picking up TP so it doesn't stick to his shoe, and being intimidated by the threat of the press learning about the charges. Yeah that's right, one of the first things this cop says to the Senator is 'Don't worry, I promise little ole me won't call the media.' Now, why was this on his mind? Why was this delivered in the same threatening tone he used when he said 'I can take you to jail right now but I promise I won't'? This cop obviously lost his cool. He obviously (and who can blame him?) didn't like his assignment of sitting on a toilet lid all day watching men's eyes. Sheesh.

The second most listened-to radio talk show host in the nation is Shawn Hannity. He's had a very homophobic stance on this subject of late. Thirty seconds into any sentence on the subject of "the gays" (his words) and he'd do that fake laugh of his as though he's sweating his head off, and say "I can't believe we're talking about this!" Jeez is that boring. Those words should spell murder for a radio talk show host but for some reason he keeps his job. And he couldn't take enough calls from like-minded listeners. It was like eavesdropping on the line to meet with Santa Claus at the local mall. "People like that shouldn't be in Congress." "God fearing people shouldn't have to put up with this." I should note that none of the people who spoke these words were from Idaho, so obviously have no idea how a representative democracy works.

But today was a different story. Today he listened to the interrogation on tape and concluded that he still had reservations as to the "secret double life" of the Senator, but didn't know which action or admission was illegal. I concur. Listen with a fair ear and all you'll hear is this crazy, belligerent cop. Of the two people in the situation, I'm not so sure the Senator was the bad guy. I mean, to get this guy off my back, and to keep this outta the press, I'd probably plead guilty to somethin that only required a fine too. Heck, I know I would cos I've gotten a hefty speeding ticket in Virginia (wherever that is) and chose not to go back and fight it. Same thing.

Just a reminder: Senator Craig is 62, married, admits to being "kind of a wide guy," and had a plane to catch minutes later. Doesn't sound like some dude with a beard wife and thirty-thousand dollars in credit card debt on gym memberships and hair product. (Don't worry, my gay friends will be fine with that.)