Dear John,
Over the past few years we've gotten to be pretty close. My heart was melted by your slow Southern ways, by that funny little mis-pronunciation you people wrap around every word, and of course, by your hair.
But our time together has come to an end.
I don't want to sound cold because the truth is I still love you, you know that. But I'm just not that into you anymore. I've moved on. That's right, there's somebody else. And brace yourself, because she's a chick. She's more experienced than you, she's been fighting for children for 35 years, and in about 8 months she's gonna be out of an on-again/off-again relationship.
Anyway John, you've run in two big elections now, we all rooted for you at some point, and you've put on a good showing for your home folks this weekend. Now you're just holding back America's Senator, and therefore America. So it's time for you to head back to the hills.
Or take this from a robot call the HRC has planned to phone us all with:
"You should also know that John Edwards made nearly a half a million
dollars working for a Wall Street investment fund. A fund that's been profiting
on foreclosing on the homes of families, including 100 homes right here in South
Carolina. Can you trust John Edwards? This call is paid for by the Hillary
Clinton for President Campaign."
Robots say the darndest things.
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